The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
