i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
