I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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