i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
