just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
