her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
