I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
