Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
