hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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