she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
