So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
