Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
