this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
