He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Someone shit on the floor
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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