Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
why is half of my head shaved?
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