I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
