Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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