its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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