It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
