it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
