3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
