I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
