life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
