FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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