Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
