Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
