I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize