i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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