I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
