Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
