some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So vagazzling was a success
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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