My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
