I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize