guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
