I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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