South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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