This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
