Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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