Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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