just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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