Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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