Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm passing your future prison.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
