I love black thongs
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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