He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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