I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
