i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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