Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
