I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
