i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
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By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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