You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
