remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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