He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
