I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize