I wanna passion pit in your ass
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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