I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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