Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
