Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
