Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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