I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
