there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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