Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
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there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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